First, I want to apologize for this somewhat tasteless post. But, when you’re stuck at home watching old movies on TV there’s not a lot of material.
I tried to find a free download of an instrumental version of “Me and My Shadow” so I could play it while I typed:
“Me and my catheter, strolling down the avenue….”
However, the only downloads were for a fee – $1.99 – for a karaoke song and this post is definitely not worth $1.99.
My prostate surgery involved a six inch incision starting just below my belly button and, from what my surgeon said, he had to shove everything out of the way to get to and remove the prostate. With that much pushing and shoving in that area all the plumbing parts get kind of traumatized and don’t work too well for a time after the surgery.
So I was assigned my own personal foley catheter and I have never had one before. I won’t go into the details of where the catheter tube is attached to my body. I’ll leave that to your imagination. The tube runs down about four feet or so into a large plastic bag about the size of a gallon freezer bag. Fortunately, foley catheter bags are much thicker that gallon freezer bags – and have a much better seal.
Needless to say, me and my catheter are inseparable – wherever I go my catheter goes. I thought about giving it a name – “Charlie,” “Charlene,” perhaps “Catherine” or “Cathy.” But, that would be stupid.
Since I’m pretty much restricted in what I can do and how much I can move there really aren’t many negatives about having a catheter. It doesn’t hurt or even feel uncomfortable – it’s just there.
What’s kind of nice is it relieves (good choice of word) me of the need to go to the bathroom. I can drink as much liquid as I want right before going to bed and I don’t have to get up at all during the night. My trusty sidekick takes care of that for me. Of course, if you ask Betty about my catheter she might not be as positive because she has to empty it.
I’ll keep it until Monday, January 10 when I go back to my surgeon for a post-operative exam. By then I assume my normal plumbing will be back to working normally.
I’ll probably miss my catheter the first time I have to get up at 3:00 AM to go to the bathroom – but Betty won’t.
10 comments:
This brought a smile to my face, and I couldn't help noticing that the title of Sunday's post would have been good for this one, too--hee hee.
Glad your feeling well enough to write!
Ha ha! Glad to see you still have your sense of humor Dan. The catheter can be handy (like not having to get up in the middle of the night) but I have always found them uncomfortable. I am thrilled to hear that your surgery went so well!
I was going to post a new blog and WHAM! your title caught my attention and I had to go back a screen. Lovely topic. Sorry about that incision. Sounds sort of like the C-section incision I sport. Remember to buy your panty hose at least one size larger, cause even when it heals that seam is a _itch.
I love tasteless, body humor..Oh yeah, I guess that's what I face all day at work so it just comes naturally.
Glad you are progressing as expected..
Having had a catheter, I can totally relate. Although, as I recall, mine was uncomfortable but then I've always been a bit on the "sensitive" side. Still, not having to get up to "go" all the time, did have it's benefits. LOL
Glad you're feeling well enough to have a sense of humor.
Love your sense of humor, Dan. I used to install and remove catheters (and clean the area, too) when I worked as a CNA years ago. I've also had a catheter a couple times after surgeries.
Useful Tip: take something before you have your catheter removed. You'll be grateful you did, even just for those few moments of discomfort.
~Lisa
Hee hee. Right up my alley here, Dan. Glad everything is flowing along nicely.
Hey, how are the bowels doing?
Brings back memories of mine.... I have had them a time or two and found them a time saver too. LOL. Get well. Keep your humor.
You should have named it and then kissed it good-bye!
This not tastless at all. The truth of the world is that Catheters exist and some people are bound to get one and most of the time its unexpected. Its great though to know you've found humor in it all. It took me a while to adjust to mine.
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