Sunday Reflections–Feelings, Oh, Oh, Oh, Feelings

Have you ever wondered why God gave us feelings?  I have, but I guess I’m strange that way.

One of the things Betty and I have learned over the years in our counseling ministry is that feelings are real, they are valid – but they can lie.  Feelings are real – but not necessarily true.  Acting on feelings alone can get us into real trouble.

Feelings include the basic ones that are common to us all - happiness/joy, sadness, grief, fear and anger.  Then there are those feelings that are associated with certain people and their circumstances – loneliness, abandonment, anxiousness, jealousy, envy, etc.

I think the basic ones all have a God-given purpose for their existence.  The other circumstance-related feelings are actually related to the more basic ones.  For example, loneliness is really a form of sadness and/or grief.

Some other feelings are higher or lower degrees of a basic feeling.  For example, frustration is a lower level of anger whereas rage is a higher level of anger.

I’m going to focus on the basic feelings to keep this from getting too complicated.  So, here are my thoughts on the basic feelings.

Happiness/joy is a feeling that helps us enjoy the gifts that God has given us – the gift of his Son, the gift of life, the gift of family and friends, etc.

Sadness and grief are feelings of healing when there is a loss.  When we experience a loss – health, family, friend, etc. – we need to go through a healing process and the feelings of sadness and grief are part of that process.

Fear is a feeling that is meant to motivate us to get away from danger.

Finally, anger – the feeling that, in my opinion, is the most complex and the most interesting.  Anger is the one feeling that can cause us to sin.

In your anger do not sin.  Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. (Ephesians 4:26-28)

Inappropriate anger can cause us to sin against God and our neighbor – and, in the process, give the devil a foothold in our lives.  Betty and I have counseled many people over the years where inappropriate anger was a real problem in their relationships.

One of the truths of inappropriate anger is no one else can cause us to be angry – “So and so makes me so angry.”  No, we choose to be angry in any given circumstance.  Sometimes we do it so often that our anger response becomes a habit – but it’s still a choice – our choice.

So, if inappropriate anger is wrong, then what is appropriate anger?

I believe God gave us the ability to get angry for one reason and one reason alone.  Anger – often called righteous anger – is meant to motivate us to right a wrong.  For example, if I saw a man threatening a small child with physical or sexual abuse, my anger over that would motivate me to do something about it.  That’s appropriate anger.  Getting angry because Betty doesn’t do something the way I want it done is inappropriate.

So, God gave us these feelings for a purpose.  These are just my opinions and I’m open to correction and instruction.  Feel free to offer differing opinions in the comments.

God bless.