Happy Father's Day!

This photo has nothing to do with Father's Day. I was out feeding the horses and cleaning up on Friday morning and this was the sight my Father in heaven gave me. Not bad.

My father was born in 1915 on a farm in Watertown, Tennessee, just outside of Lebanon. He was 14 when the stock market crashed and the depression started.

In 1941 when World War II started he was 26 and married with one child - my sister, Jane.

My father worked for a dairy so his job was considered essential and he never had to serve.

All of this is background to how I perceived my father as I grew up in the late 1940's and 1950's.

As a farm child of the depression, my father grew up knowing that providing a place to live and food on the table was the result of hard work. He would have been offended to think anyone would want to give him anything. So, all his life he worked hard to be a good provider for his family. I know now that working hard was his way of showing love to us.

Coming from his background he was not a touchy-feeling man. I don't have any memories of my mother and father showing any physical affection (i.e., kissing, holding hands, etc.) in public. I also don't have any memories of my father showing any physical affection to me or my sister. He may have hugged me as a small child, but I don't have any memories of him hugging me as an older child or teenager. He certainly didn't hug me as a young adult.

Working hard for little money and having only the bare necessities of life, my father knew the value of money. Material things were solely to be used and he never saw them as a measure of who he was or his worth to the world. He earned his worth through his hard work.

Since my father didn't have to serve during his war, I think he was extra proud of me when I chose to serve in the Navy as an officer during my war. I also think he worried a lot about me when my ship was over in Vietnam.

So, at the end of the day, I know that the man I am is heavily influenced by my father.

I have chosen to emulate his values of hard work and not letting material things define who I am. However, I have chosen to be more open with my feelings and emotions than he was. It was something I had to work on for as a young adult I was very much like my father.

I have chosen to be different from my father in terms of showing physical affection. I purposely chose to change that part of me. I love to show physical affection to Betty in public. I wanted to hug my boys as they were growing up and I continue to do so as they are young men in their own right.

When I first hugged my father I don't think he knew what to do. Over time he began to hug me back and I think he would have been disappointed if I didn't hug him.

So, on this Father's Day I thank my father for all the good values he passed down to me. I know he's in heaven and I hope he's happy with the way I'm living out what he taught me through his life.

Happy Father's Day, Pop.

 

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