Sunday Reflection–Guilt vs. Shame

We often hear about guilt in legal terms in newspapers, magazines, and newscasts when someone is found guilty by a jury of their peers.  However, when was the last time you heard the word shame in any newspaper, magazine or newscast?

In private conversations it’s usually reversed.  We may hear someone confess they are ashamed of something, but rarely do we hear someone confess they are guilty of something.

Guilt seems to be a public term whereas shame is most often a private term.

In the Old Testament there are two terms usually translated guilt --

Avon – the literal root means to make crooked – is used for personal guilt.  And asham that means a fault and is used for the sin offering made by an individual or more often a group or nation.

In the New Testament there are only two references to guilt, both in the Gospel of John and the Greek word hamartia, the root literally means to miss the mark and is often translated as sin.

For shame the Old Testament Hebrew is buwsh which literally means to pale by comparison.  The New Testament Greek is kataischuno which literally means disfigurement, to blush.

The simplest way I think about the difference between guilt and shame is between behavior and feeling.

If we break a law of the land we are guilty of that infraction whether we are caught or not.  Being caught and declared guilty in a court of law formally establishes the guilt and attaches some form of punishment.  This is equally true of God’s laws.  When we break God’s law we are instantly guilty because of our behavior, our choice, whether there is any immediate consequence or not.

In earthly law the only way we can remove our guilt is to serve the punishment decreed for our act.  In heavenly law guilt can only be removed through accepting Christ as our Lord and Savior by acknowledging his sacrifice on the cross that paid the price for our guilt/sin.

We may say we feel guilty, but in reality guilt is a state of being.  If we’re willing to admit it, guilt is fairly easy to acknowledge and categorize – we are or are not guilty of something.  It’s fairly straight forward.

Shame, however is a feeling and, being a feeling, is more difficult to categorize.  If someone breaks an earthly law, is caught and brought before a judge he should feel shame before his friends and family for his actions.  If someone fails to live up to his obligations and duty and runs away from same (think Wisconsin, Indiana, Texas Democrat state senators) he should also feel shame for his actions.

The problem today is many people may feel guilty because it’s clearer when they break the laws of the land, but many often don’t feel any shame because of their world view, value systems (or lack thereof), etc.

In many circumstances we’ve lost a sense of shame that at one time was a powerful agent for change in our society.  Like all of our feelings, shame is a gift from God that is meant to encourage us to change our ways.  Without a sense of shame we don’t have that encouragement to change.

Where shame is a work of the Devil and not a gift from God is when shame is not felt as a result of our bad choices, but is forced upon us by others.  An example is when a child is constantly berated by a parent as bad or evil for their normal or childish behavior.  Or a young child/teenager is sexually abused.  In these cases the feeling of shame is not a feeling from a bad choice that may lead to a changed life.  It’s a feeling imposed on the child by another’s bad choices and a feeling they often carry into adulthood.  This imposed feeling of shame may, in the future, lead the person to make bad choices of their own.

Appropriate shame is an inner feeling derived from our bad choices.  It says to us, “I did something wrong. I made a mistake. I need to change my behavior.”  Inappropriate shame is forced upon us by another.  It says to us, “I am something wrong.  I am a mistake. I can’t change.  I’ll always be this way.”

I think it’s a shame (pun intended) that we have lost an appropriate sense of shame in our world today.  However, I stand firmly against that shame that is not a result of our actions, but imposed by the sins of others.

“Shame and guilt are noble emotions essential in the maintenance of civilized society, and vital for the development of some of the most refined and elegant qualities of human potential.”  (Willard Gaylen, Psychiatrist)

My two cents for what it’s worth.